3rd Level Fighter, 9th Level Thief
Hit Points: 30
Kanton is a former ranger and thief who now serves as the constable and captain of a king's private guard.
Kanton wants to establish a thieves' guild operating under the protection of his police force. He plans to extort money from local merchants and business people to secure their safety from the thieves (which he controls).
Luke grew up in Jackson, Wyoming along with the other members of OH! The Humanity. He developed a need to be on stage at an early age, and in High School, had roles in My Fair Lady and the Mouse on Mars.
After his junior year, Luke received a scholarship to the Utah Shakespearean Festival in Cedar City, Utah, where he received the highest marks for his performances as Hamlet, and in The Twelfth Night. During his senior year, Luke received first place in the state for his Humorous Interpretation on the Forensics Team. After graduating in 1995 he performed in Annie Get Your Gun, Frankenstein, Our Town, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
Luke moved to Seattle in October of 2001 to pursue a career in film. He writes, edits, produces, and acts in Oh, the Humanity! along with Kanton and Dave.
Hey! How did you get in here?! Can't a man take a bath in peace without....
You want what? About me?
Well..OK. Hold this rubber duckie.
Wyoming..yes..that's where I'm from. No, I didn't realize that before joining Ohthehumanity. Yes, I was shocked and horified too.
Ah yes...summer theater from grade school all the way thru Jr high... wait, how did you know....
What? Uh yes. Forensics. Took state in humorous interpretation of literature. You sure seem to know a lot about me. Right...drugs, sex and rock-n-roll. Don't remember much after that...
Store Phrunt Comedy? Yes, that's the name of the comedy group I was in at the Univ of Wyo. How do you know about Wrath of the Slobbering Grin? Nobody's supposed to know about that! OK, now yer freakin me out! Gimme back my rubber duckie!
Oh God! Yes. YES! I got a degree in Computer Science. It's not something I'm proud of. I just needed a job. Imagine my shame...haven't you done enough damage already?!
No. NO! NOOO! Well...yes. I did a little improv in Seattle but it was only on weekends and only with Sisters Of Sal! I didn't know any better! I swear! Get out of my head! You know too much! AHHH! THE PAIN!
When you want to enjoy life, take Dave. Dave is a non-evasive and safe
form of mendula, known to reduce arthritis pain, gout, and retardedness.
Do not take Dave while enjoying drugs and alcohol, unless it's at a
30/20/50 mix. Dave should not be taken by anyone with a heart
condition, pregnant, or from the south. Common side effects include
leprosy, a whole lot of anal leakage, and the desire to spend rent money
on 80's kitch memrobilia. Ask your doctor about Dave. Go on do it.
Everybody's taking Dave. You want to be cool right? It's O.K., the
first one's free.
Pave Borneo Campaign - Human Rights Swath
I was unfortunately in charge of efforts to pave Borneo. Borneo wasn't
considered flat enough by international standards. The first attempts
made by the Borneonese (or Borneonians) to correct this problem had
failed miserably. There was simply not enough poop. Our coalition was
brought on board after this disaster, because we are known for our
tact. Our initial plan was to sink the fucker. But internationally Borneo
is known as a country with an excellent shape. Besides, it is believed
that the Indian Ocean would look too 'fake' without Borneo. So we
resorted to covering the entire nation in asphalt. Please help the
international efforts. Pave Borneo!
© Copyright Oh The Humanity Productions 2007. All Rights Reserved.